


Find Me, Lose Me

by StarWolf802



Category: NatePat / AntiMare, Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Hurt No Comfort, M/M, Sad, Sad Ending, Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-20
Updated: 2018-03-20
Packaged: 2019-04-04 22:44:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 658
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14030460
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StarWolf802/pseuds/StarWolf802
Summary: AntiMatter pauses as he hears rustling in the bushes. He turns, fingers closing around the handle of the scalpel in his coat pocket.There's more rustling, and a soft sob.





	Find Me, Lose Me

**Author's Note:**

> This does contain suicide. If that squicks / triggers you, turn away now.

AntiMatter pauses as he hears rustling in the bushes. He turns, fingers closing around the handle of the scalpel in his coat pocket.   
  
There's more rustling, and a soft sob.  
  
AntiMatter steps forwards, shoving branches aside to find a small space next to a tree, hidden by brush. Another demon is curled up there, blood running from his body, curled up tightly next to the tree.  
  
AntiMatter slowly takes his hand out of his pocket, confused.   
  
"Who are you?" He asks softly.  
  
He gets no response except for another quiet, choked sob. The demon is shaking, bloody and trembling on the ground. After a moment looking, AntiMatter realises the wounds are self inflicted.  
  
"Who are you?" He tries again, firmer this time, taking another step forward and dropping to his knees next to the demon.  
  
"Just let me die. I want to go home." The voice is male and raspy, rough from crying, desperation creeping in. "Please, I don't know who you are, but just let me die. My name doesn't matter."  
  
"I'm not going to try to save you," AntiMatter says bluntly. "I don't even know your name."  
  
AntiMatter has never been good at emotions. He's never really felt much except for love for his work, but he feels sadness and pity tug at his heartstrings at the sight of this broken, crying demon. His arms are wrapped around himself like he's longing for the touch of someone who isn't there, who never was.  
  
So AntiMatter tentatively reaches out and gathers him up into his arms, seeing his face for the first time. He's...actually quite nice looking. His eyes are a deep brown and subtly almond shaped, his bottom lip plush and full. Black tears are streaming down his face, and he lets his head fall against AntiMatter's chest.   
  
"My name is Natemare," he whispers, gripping AntiMatter's shirt. "But please don't call me that....call me Nathan..."  
  
"I'm Matthew." AntiMatter looks down at himself, mouth twitching at the sight of all the blood getting on his clothes. Oh well.  
  
Natemare looks up at him, tears rolling down his cheeks and leaving black trails. His breathing is ragged and hitched, small sobs catching in his throat.  
  
AntiMatter catches sight of scars on Natemare's arms, cuts parallel to the ones that he's bleeding out from. He feels sort of silly, holding a complete stranger and talking to him as he dies, but he also feels sad. He wonders what drove him to this.  
  
"You've been trying for a while, haven't you, Nathan," AntiMatter whispers, smiling gently. "And it's finally worked."  
  
Natemare nods weakly, smiling back. AntiMatter can see the pain and grief in Natemare's eyes, but he sees relief and happiness there too.  
  
"You're going to a place where you won't be in pain," AntiMatter says quietly. He doesn't know if it's true, but for some reason he hopes it is. He wants this broken, tired demon in his arms to be happy.  
  
Natemare sniffles, and he closes his eyes, listening to AntiMatter's heartbeat as his own slows. He longed to be held, for the feeling of someone's arms around him, holding him and comforting him. But he had no one. He was all alone.   
  
He had sliced his own skin a million times, tried to end it in countless ways, from overdosing to pitching himself off of a bridge.   
  
And he finally found it. The thing that worked. And now he's being held once more, talked to and comforted by a stranger as he slowly bleeds out.   
  
"It's worked, Nathan." AntiMatter's words are soft. "You're going to go find peace."  
  
Natemare's grip on his shirt slowly lessens, and his eyes flutter open one last time to look at AntiMatter.   
  
"Thank you, angel," he whispers in a halting, choked voice, then his arm falls to his side and his eyes glaze over.   
  
AntiMatter is left with the limp, bloody body of someone who just wanted to go home.


End file.
